here is what I hate about dating

This post is dedicated to my best friend Laura.  Not because she hates dating, but because she listens to me talk about how I hate dating.

1. First, the word “dating.” Continue reading


The Last Great American Prejudice

Recently I was watching “Fashion Police” on E! because, well, because it was on.  As you may know, I love fashion, and celebrities, and stupid punny jokes like those often made on Sex and the City (For example: “Lawrence of my labia.” It’s like you want to laugh, and kill yourself, all at once.)  So you would think that I would love Fashion Police, which is a nexus, a sort of Constantinople, if you will, of all these things.  And yet– I hate Fashion Police.  Of course, there’s no accounting for taste when it comes to television.  I judge you if you watch Jersey Shore– yet I have watched Road Rules-Real World Challenges religiously for years.  All the Real Housewives franchises are inane hour-long anti-plastic-surgery PSAs– except for the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, which I adore.  Watching RHOBH is like watching a collagen arms race from behind a two-way mirror.  Dancing with the Stars is criminally boring– but America’s Best Dance Crew is innovative and inspiring.  It is possible I like ABDC mostly because I’ve been a Mario Lopez fan ever since my first Zack and Slater gangbang fantasy occurred back in the 90s.  I mean, who can resist this confection of stonewash and silk:

Nice happy trails, boys. Continue reading